Happiness is a State of Mind: The Cost of Chasing Exclusivity

In today’s world, happiness has become a moving target. What once brought us joy is now quickly normalized, leaving us constantly craving more. Somewhere in the race to achieve, to outperform, and to stand out, we have forgotten to simply be happy. We’ve mistaken external success for internal satisfaction, and in the process, we’ve built a society where even a remarkable achievement is brushed aside as “not a big deal.”

Take the example of someone scoring 99% in their board exams. Instead of celebrating such an incredible accomplishment, many tend to dismiss it with comments like, “Everyone gets such marks these days.” The bar has been raised so high that even excellence feels ordinary. On the other hand, I remember the joy of clearing my graduation with 45%. It wasn't a perfect score, but it was my moment, and I celebrated it fully. That same journey led me to eventually learn the stock market and celebrate everyday of my life. For me, happiness wasn’t about the number—it was about the effort, the growth, and the resilience it took to get there.

This comparison highlights a deeper truth: happiness isn’t about how much you have, but about how you perceive what you have. It is a state of mind. Sadly, many people now associate happiness with exclusivity. We want things that only we have, believing that exclusivity makes them more valuable. But the irony is clear—both a billionaire like Mukesh Ambani and a common man might use the same iPhone, the same laptop with identical features. The difference? Ambani might encrust his with diamonds just to make it feel unique. But does that add real value? No. It only serves a desire to appear different, to feel superior, not necessarily to be happier.

This obsession with being unique at all costs has created a culture where brands sell us not just products, but status. Clothes, gadgets, even experiences are marketed as ways to “stand out.” And in our attempt to feel special, we have made our lives unnecessarily complicated. The result? Rising levels of anxiety, depression, and constant dissatisfaction. We're chasing validation in likes, followers, and material possessions, while neglecting inner peace and self-worth.

Instead of chasing exclusivity, why not practice gratitude? Why not look inward and ask, “How can I be a better person?” rather than “How can I appear better than others?” True contentment comes not from comparison but from appreciation. But we’ve built a world where parents expect their kids to excel in everything, often projecting their own dreams onto their children. Kids, naturally innocent and curious, begin to feel the weight of expectations too early. And yet, when the pressure starts to show, we label them as “aaj ki generation,” blaming them instead of reflecting on how we’ve shaped their world.

We are all responsible for the mindset of the next generation. Rather than criticizing them, we need to model better values: contentment, balance, resilience, and gratitude. If we can show that happiness lies not in outshining others but in embracing one’s own journey, we’ll be giving them a far greater gift than any material achievement.

In the end, happiness is not a competition. It is personal, it is humble, and it is deeply internal. Let us normalize celebrating small wins, appreciating progress, and being kind to ourselves. Life is not about being the best in the room—it’s about being the best version of yourself. That’s where true happiness begins.

 

If JACK would have not met ROSE………….

I wonder what would be fate of Jack had he not came across Rose on Titanic as Jack was a person who knows his way out of every situation. I wonder how many people would have doubt that he would have not found his way out of a sinking TITANIC too. Let’s assume for a moment that he did not met Rose on the ship he would have gone on living a life which was full of adventures, unplanned , taking everything in his stride come what may making the most of it.

So its basically love which came into his way of making a life for himself, and it was Rose who was unhappy even though born with a silver spoon but living upto the society expectations and all she wanted was some freedom for herself which was offered to her by Jack. The point I want to make over here is why not every soul can be free like Jack in this world (and I do not discriminate with gender here…..Rose can be a male or female in todays world ) living every moment of their life, doing things the way he/she wants to do making sure that the conscience of a person is not to hurt any other individual in the process but looking for one’s happiness.

So assuming that all people be Jack in today’s world and doing the things they want to be rather than meeting the expectations of other people in their life and in due process there would be less people like Rose in the world which would save many more Jack’s from dying (dying is referred to any form of suffering that a person is going through in their life) because if Rose would have shown the same courage previously, being an optimist I am about true love and soul mates the faith and destiny would have played their part in bringing them together and who knows TITANIC would have a version of JACK and ROSE being saved and living happily .

“ Dying, Morrie said is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else.So many of these people who come to visit me are unhappy. WHY ? Well for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves . We’ re teaching the wrong things and you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work don’t buy it. “ (it’s a para from the book Tuesday’s with Morrie where mitch albom the author is asking some questions to the priest morrie…..)

Trekking & Life

 I went to a trekking trip after a year or so though I always loved the first one and wanted to go again somehow was not able to make it. This time we decided to conquer the Mauli Fort which is near Asangaon. I came across many similarities as to how a day of trekking can be summed up into the whole life of us.

Just a few observations as to how life and trekking are similar…….

1.  You have to watch every step very carefully once you are out there, you can never say its easy or here is the end, because you may never know where you might find a surprise or get into trouble and so is life where every decision is to be carefully taken , (for e.g . friends ,relations, marriage, career) you may never know which one is wrong and lands you in trouble.

2.  In trekking the goal is to reach the top of the mountain and in life the goal is to succeed but at the same time the journey of trekking is what one should be enjoying than the success because you can be at the top only for few minutes and most of the times goes in reaching the destination, and so is life where while living we always are worried about tomorrow than actually enjoying what we do today. The real fun is to enjoy the journey than the destination.

3.  In yesterdays trekking we were just like minutes away from the top that we got the news of leopard over there and all the hard work (each carrying 7 - 8kgs of luggage which included 4 ltrs of water, food, clothes ,additional footwear ) put in seems like a waste as it was not sensible if we would have face them. So we decided to turn back and return but than not spending that hour at the top did not took away the joy and pleasure of the whole journey and so is life…..small failures and hurdles should not drift away from our goals and ambitions and keep us stuck at a place. We should accept them and move on.

4.  There is no way you can figure the way to the top while standing down, It’s when you start taking one single step the trek unfolds giving you way and making you a part of it. One turn and you find a new road or a view which is just spell binding and mesmerizing in its own way. You can just admire and move on to next level, walking ahead in the unknown not knowing what’s in store for you next. Life goes on the same way, where you might often see people trying to figure out the way instead of walking the unknown territory, If and only if people start walking without wasting too much of the time trying to figure out everything before starting, I am pretty sure even in case of walking the wrong road somehow you will end up just fine.

5.  While trekking you need a great amount of faith and somehow in middle of nowhere the help appears at the right moment, you might see an arrow or some random villager who will guide you the way. As far as yesterdays trek was concerned we were completely on the wrong path from the start and was far too dangerous than we anticipated but after an hour met a villager who guided us on the right trek. Same way you meet many people in lives, Some wrong some right, some stay some go away but in whole process we should never lose the hope ( if u ever lose hope make sure to watch “ The Shawshank Redemption “) and make sure that we never stop because like you have started the trekking it will only end when you are back down and similarly as u have started life it will only end with your death.

                          So enjoy each moment  till you are trekking or you are alive, make it count and as Hunter S. Thompson have said  “Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body; but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a ride! “

Just A Dsiturbing Thought

I have been following the Anna Hazaare campaign very closely by keeping myself updated through internet or their interviews on news channels or by sharing it with people who are following it too. Now suddenly I think what would have all the freedom fighters who have fought for us and gave their life’s for us would have done today.

Will they would have picked up a gun like shown in the movie “Rang De Basanti“ but somehow I feel that in the movie they all fought for a friend and not the country. You can say it was a personal revenge though trying to bring a bigger picture and they all didn’t fought or do something about it till their close friend died. So I was just wondering what would have provoked the great leaders like BHAGAT SINGH, NETAJI SUBHASH CHANDRA BOSE, CHANDRASHEKHAR AZAAD ETC the list is endless and am sure there are many who have gone unrecognized too working in the back and only a few handful have been able to get their names recorded in history.

Well the answer that comes to my mind is the upbringing and social, cultural values that was inherited by them and which I feel is at lost in our generation. We care more about the brands, holidays abroad or securing our future and even I am in the same group.

Somehow the whole backbone of this fighting back attitude is been broken due to getting people more engrossed and busy with materialistic things in life. I genuinely feel it’s a very cautious approach to make sure that the youth gets so busy competing with his life that he doesn’t get anytime to think about his country and the one in a million who tries to raise his voice is often laughed out “ ye paka raha hai “ ya “ aur koi kaam nahi hai kya “ nothing will ever change and trust me from more than last 60 years nothing has changed and we all know the situation has been worsen.

So now the thought that was disturbing me was what would the great men’s of history would have done today that would have helped us because there is no enemy whom u can target as there was british people in their times. The enemy is we ourselves and no one else coz why do we blame others and as rightly said by Anna Hazaare and his team that why do we need another government or another set of people, these are our people only and we just need to make sure that they work properly because even if there is an another party forming government, they wont be passing the bill as u can see no party has strongly came forward in support of the bill in spite of the fact knowing that its right and would help reducing the corruption on a bigger note.

So by pointing a gun to all the ministers or hoping that they all should die somehow or we get a clean set of people wont happen but passing this lokpal bill supporting it in all the means and way, cause the team might be wrong on few points but atleast we know there is not a single agenda which is going to benefit Anna Hazaare,Arvind Kejriwal, Prashant Bhushan , Kiran Bedi and their team and the government trying to fight and to save themselves the way they have been doing it because the fact till date we have not seen any Politician been sent to jail or been convicted.

So I guess its time for us to join a small hand to the great leaders of history for the benefit of the society, to do a selfless act which in turn is very selfish to make sure the future of our country is secured and let us achieve the dream of all the freedom fighters who had a vision of a INDIA who had sacrificed their lives for our future. JAI HIND……..

My first trekking trip......

Wowwwwww……..was the last thing tht came to me. We went for a trek route at chanderi which is near to badlapur station. Not knowing anything about trekking we (me n manish) accompanied uday n vivek who trek on a regularly basis. We started our day by waking up at 3.30 n reaching dadar station by 4.40, from there we took a train to badlapur where we arrived at 6.30.Having an early morning tea n a very light snacks we reached chanderi (a very small village). We hired a guide(Rohit a 15 yr old guy) we started our journey having no clue what its gona be like as for me trekking was like just walking in the nature.

The first half an hour was like very easy and I was thinking we will come on a regularly basis. Than we found a waterfall which was not flowing that fast, one can easily walk through it. But the stones were very slippery and wearing a wrong footwear for the occasion added to the experience. The waterfall was long and all the way I was thinking that I m climbing this up but how m I going to climb it downwards while on my return journey, than uday came to my rescue saying just enjoy climbing up we will figure out how we will come down. Every step taken was careful, all the focus n attention shifted to the next step. Though the waterfall was very narrow n empty at places we found a place to take a shower, the water was ice cold. Now as waterfall ended I thought we might be near to the destination and the guide said still we are not half way yet.

The trek was so dense u cannot make out at ne given point of time where exactly are you.

Now after waterfall came a very narrow path climbing straight upwards with crabs n snake holes everywhere which were easily seen. Even that was a very long path with actually no place where one can sit n relax for a while and just with one line of encouragement that upper chalo waha lagega ki u r in heaven we were heading with all the fears in our heart. Than we came in open and we could exactly see the place where we were going and still looked so far having thought so many times of rehne de yaar…upper jaake kya dekhna hai…..though somehow didn’t uttered a word n kept on.

Manish was in bigger trouble as the soul of his shoes came out but still was managing bravely. Now the wind was blowing at a speed which I have never experienced in my life. And the path was so narrow with one side rocky stones and complete open space the other side not knowing whats gona happen if we put just 1 wrong foot. Somehow with all the bravery(whom m I kidding) with having no other option I moved upwards surrendering myself to god.

We reached at 12.00pm at the top and thn wht we saw was just mesmerizing. It was one of the mountains which u see many times while going to hill stations on the way tht who might climb these or why some1 will ever go on top of this mountain. But the wind the scenery the villages which were barely in sight surrounded by other mountains was simply awesome. Forgetting all the pains n fear of how we will climb down we rested there for an hour had our snacks and listened to few songs on our phones every1 lost in their own thoughts we spent an hour.

Than around 1pm we started our journey back which was more difficult n my footwear not having a proper grip (though I just bought a new pair the previous day specially for trekking the a*****e sold me the wrong one) I was left with no choice but to sit n use both my hands too which took me more time than others but they waited patiently not asking me to hurry at any given point of time. Uday n the guide were having the same pace as though they were walking in a garden though me Vivek n Manish each had a slip with very small injuries(bruises n scratches) which made us all the more cautious. We ran out of water so we refilled at waterfall having one more shower and somehow waterfall looked a bit simpler thn it was at the other stage. Thanks to rain god indra devta jo poore raaste bares nahi else I dunno what wud have been our conditions. The rains came at the end of the journey I guess the god saying I was holding myself just for u guys. We reached the village completely tired my both hands swollen arms n legs having no more energy to walk. At village we didn’t find any means of transport forcing me and Manish started walking while Uday n Vivek were buying some soft drinks for themselves. After Walking for about half an hour we saw them coming in a village auto in which we hopped in and headed towards the badlapur station.

Every1 was so tired n soaked to the skin that neither of us was uttering a word still having tht feeling of the small achievement in our hearts we headed to our homes. I would like to thank Mr Uday n Mr Vivek who were calm and composed all the time lifting my spirits and not to forget Manish who invited me for the trip.

Is God Responsible for Everything In Our Life….????

I don’t know the answer but yes whenever things go wrong we blame it to god…..it was his wish that this has happened. I dunno but I guess every1 will agree tht we have heard this statement in case of birth death marriage business etc…..only failure in exams is the responsibility of the kid who has not done his hardwork…..I was reading OSHO and he says just imagine if u have all the powers and everything u wish for can be done…..u first create the planets…..thn bring life to it….thn take care of everythin happenin over thr……means creating work for himself which brings no result for him….and according to us he(god) is the most intelligent person….tell me any sane person will do tht in his life……

What are his rewards for doing everythin in our life…wht fun does he gets out of this……I was just having a conversation with a person and he was of the opinion that even our efforts are influenced by him and I was like getting to my nerves…..well I just assume to believe this simple rule that god has created everything on the planet and than he has made some rules laws principles which is definitely wrongly interpretated by humans (means us) religion, meaning of life , moksha and all the crap which we all are definitely a part. I just came across a line which said “life in itself is meaningless n it is we who have to put meaning in it” made more sense thn me who has a blog name in search of…..who doesn’t know wht he is looking for…..

God is there and he is watching for us but what if I say that he has made this game for his entertainment and he is not concern about what’s been happening around…..its like his reality show big boss where he is watching comes when he wishes makes an special appearance and goes…..I think its time we should just start taking the responsibility of our actions if not the results coz I believe that “we all are karma yogi’s all I have is control over my action my karma, the results are beyond my control” johny gone down by karan bajaj , so the results are not in our hands but that doesn’t mean that results are in the hands of god…..its somewhere missing where the power of the results lies…..some says its coz of the planets or this reason or that reason……well whatever works for one person is not compulsory to work for everyone and that’s where god has tricked us…..someone will benefit from a stone or some pooja done or some small deeds…...i dun think Americans believe in astrology related to planets yet they are far more advanced in every field but we see amitabh bacchan wearing stones on varius fingers and even he has came back from grave…..so are the Americans doing the right thing or we ??? but in any case god is not responsible for good or bad in our life and its us who are responsible.

Choice ...do use the power within u

hii guys........... well its been over a year but was kind of busy settling down few things in my life coz of which i didnt had nethin to share or offer......neways but thn i realised tht this is life n this will go on forever whether m sacred or carefree or m enjoyin or sad abt it is completely my choice......

this reminds me of an email which said tht choice is a very big power we have in life...it decides how we react, act, think, plan, etc......we always know tht happiness is a state of mind and to have tht state of mind is our choice yet most of the times we r unsuccessful.

The reason i guess is very simple as we always look the glass half empty or we see the grass is green on the othr side or whtsoever.......CHOICE is tht tool in our life which decides wht our future gona be......n we shd not forget tht at every moment we make a choice in our life whether its a small or big doesnt matter........so i hope i do use this power more effectively n do expect the same frm u guys......take care......n yaa will try to be a little more regular.......well the choice is still mine i guess.......hehehehe......