Friday, April 10, 2009

Marriage is it a choice or a Compulsion ……?

Here we are……guys when they are above 25 and the girls when they are above 23 the question which haunts each n every single Indian person in this age faces is when are you getting married ???. Seems like something no one can escape easily in the land which has all its customs traditions predefined way of a lifestyle. Seriously do we ever know when we are going to get married?

The point over here is why make such an issue about the whole thing in the society where we all seem to be educated and we know its not that important thing in life although it has its importance but not the only thing. The way we treat is like it’s a compulsion in life and the person who doesn’t go through this is either unlucky or abnormal. I would simply want to make a point that what if a person doesn’t want to get married or have different goals or mindset or want to live his life in not a defined manner. There is the catch….its not possible at least in a Hindu religion and in a country like INDIA.

The person who tries to break this chain is often faced with family emotional drama, pressure from the whole society and in the end he breaks to the pressure and gets married thinking at later stages in his life why he did it (I m talking about in general). It’s just that I guess we have not yet understood the need of a marriage other than the fact that a person should be accessible to sex as his physical body demands it.

I don’t deny the fact but at the same time I think marriage is much more than what a person at the age of 25 -28 can think of and the girls between the age of 23-27.There are a few exceptions to the case the people who have not got married at all in their life and are happy but looking at that percentage I think you can easily count them on your fingers right now and am sure some would find it even difficult to think of a single person.

Whom are we fooling over here by getting married, ourselves or the other person or our family or the society? I can’t take the whole crap thing of arrange marriages Where the whole family of both the sides decide whether the girl and the guy are suitable for each other or not and that too in just 1 meeting or at the most two to three.

So is there a solution to the whole thing. Well the answer is there with each individual who sees and behave the way they want and not the way our society expects from us. If one can achieve such new defined manner in their life I am sure there will be less divorces and more happily married people in our country. I am certainly not against marriages but I want both the individuals to decide about it and not the age, family, the stages of life decide. Well I just want the person to have a choice about the whole thing whether he wants to get married or not.

Till than "MARRIAGE IS GOING TO BE A COMPULSARY CHOICE AND NOT A CHOICE “.

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own".

(The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho) .




16 comments:

  1. Bingo Khemka Darling!! I am totally with you on the whole thought....you know that... :-))
    And love the quote from Paulo Coelho...so apt!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I was a kid I heard a lot that marriages is full of compromises when grown up I understood.Marriage is nothing but a compromise.:).
    Well writen.I agree with you.There should be space for the guy and girl to breathe and think about the whole issue without any kind of pressure.If thats done mArriage would be the most beautiful thing on earth..I guess..!!:)..!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hmmm..amit...i can understand and empathise with the post / rather u at this point of time (given the fact the wishes u got on ur bday this year ;-)) but i totally agree with u on this front. i second that marriage should not be decided according the age of a person but according to the needs/ priorities of people involved. But just one thought...i have seen marriages of both kinds - love as well as arranged and i dont feel that arranged marriages are all crap...have seen many friends in arranged marraiges who are also very happy with thier spouses..so i guess it depends more on the understanding and maturity of the people involved.

    Stay single or stay married - whatever- stay happy !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I ll tell u something.. in india, your neighbors, your relatives, ur grocery store guy and everyone else is more concerned about ur marraige than you yourself and that is just not going to change..





    Haiku poetry

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ arti
    u got the point....

    @ manu...
    being modest....u n few othrs inspired me to think abt it....

    @ mansee
    i can show u both forms of marriages failing...so its not abt which is good or which is bad....its just tht u can fail but thn the right to be failed shd be urs

    @ workhard
    well u r telling me again about the problem...n i was lookin for solution....n next time if some1 asks u whn u gona get married....just smile n say i dun like to answer questions....i dunno whether things gona change or not but 1` shd not change for othrs....

    ReplyDelete
  6. you know what, this is one of those things that i want people to leave aside..

    ReplyDelete
  7. hey
    i m a kind of agree with u. but still wanna clarify you that whatever society do is not wrong. if u go deep inside to search we will find, if at this age galz n guyz dont get married thn philandering increases and the sacraments of society goes down. if u compare India with US u will see that the rate of abortion is so much high there and other thing, most of the galz get pregnant at the age of 13 to 18. so its the Indian society which prevents it in India. and because they dont go for marriage at age of 23-28 they go for a live in relationship. And if u support that than there is no probs..
    of course, arrange marriages are a prob for new generation b/c they think :to decide a life parterner 2-3 meetings are not enough. but still if u see the percentage, the arrange marriages are successful n b/c of society and divorce rates are less. Exceptions apart…

    ReplyDelete
  8. @ SAHITYIKA

    thnx for visitn my blog....
    now u got me thr...i dunno abt live in relationships...somehow doesnt goes with my roots.....n yaa u r ryte abt the society's point of view but thn still its the individual who suffers more by gettin married coz of thm....n i dun go by figures in case of marriages ...u can have an example of both failing....

    ReplyDelete
  9. I completely agree with u..Im sure ure familiar with my views on the same..

    One shud marry for the right reasons..y r v answerable to the society!!

    Like I mentioned in my post, if u swim against the tide, u r blacklisted

    ReplyDelete
  10. yeah sir bingo topic ..
    i totally agree

    ReplyDelete
  11. @ swats

    just coz u gona be blacklisted doesnt mean we shd go with them.....this fear is the real problem...once u overcome the society wont even dare to ask u a single ??

    @ devesh

    thanks bro

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wah Wah Wah.....Mr.AK,chhaa,gaye aap toh....kya logic diya hai mere dost...waise ek baat batao dear app kya karna pasand karoge?Kyunki aap bhi toh shaayd isi duvidhaa se gujar rahe honge ,hai na.....?Zara soch ke batana dost.ok

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ piyush

    bhai hum naya itihaas banae mein vishwaas rakhte hai....kuch nayaa zaroor karenge...bas aapki dua saath ho

    ReplyDelete
  14. nice post... but marriages r not all tht bad. its abt meeting d right person. d qualities u looking for in ur spouse. and once u find tht person, life is a bliss.. which i believe is possible in love marriages only.. me too have such notions abt arrange marriages tht u cannot decide who ur life partner would be in jst few meetings. but considering society and family, evn love marriages r not tht easy.. society n family make love marriages als difficult.. u hav to consider evrythng in a love marriage as well.. caste, status etc etc..
    Agreed tht v do have great arrange marriages around.. but knowing a person well before marriage makes life easy in my opinion..

    ReplyDelete
  15. You r right bro to an extent. marraiges shud not be a compulsion... but they shud not be seen as a burden. One can take his own time to decide about whom and when he shud marry. I think its one of the beautiful things in life. Heard this line somewhere n really like it- "At end of everything the one who marries you is the one who really loves you, rest all is fake".

    ReplyDelete
  16. For me there is love, not marriage, marriage is just a social devil for those who feel bounded by it. People should b free, and things should b like free flown, if someone heart permits to b united with someone then the marriage should b don,
    In old era, love happen after marriag . I say its not love, its just a compromise where there is no choice left.

    It should be marriage happne after love.

    Kkk

    ReplyDelete